Well, here it is, week 3. I was hoping to have good news. I was hoping to say I've lost lots of weight and have been doing awesome! I was hoping to show a picture of my greatness. Guess what? I've gained weight again this week! Between stress and horomones and excuses I gained weight. I got another cold and using that as an excuse not to work out. I have allowed my mind to take over, telling me I am worthless, that I can't do this. I have failed to overcome that demon in my life. Well guess what. I am DONE listening to this demon. I am sick of putting myself down. The only way to change this is to change myself. So, again, I am going to tell myself I am worth it. I am going to continue to eat better and if I eat too much, it's okay. I am going to go for a walk, to clear my head, to get that exercise in, to make myself feel better. I can no longer wear my fitbit as I have found out it has nickel in it and I'm allergic to nickel. Thank goodness I didn't get as bad of a break out as others! So, now I will not be able to see how lazy I have been. WHICH I think maybe a good thing! I am human. I am a mom, a wife, a woman, someone who will fall but I WILL NOT FAIL! I need to do this for myself more than any one else. I need to be happy with myself FOR myself and no one else. So with that:
Starting Weight (Jan 7): 278.4 lbs
Current Weight (Jan 21): 280.8 lbs
Yes, I know 2-3 lb gain, that's not bad. Well, when you tell yourself you will never see 280 again, you can't see it again, well then it hits you hard. I already was down to 260 this time last year. I got rid of all my "FAT" clothes and was never going to see this again. Well, I am and I am going to face it head on. I have to. Something has to change. I didn't want to share pictures, but I feel I have to. I know there are so many out there that deal with the same issues. They hate their body. No matter how much more weight they have lost, or are going to lose, they are always going to fill the same. We need to start to learn to love ourselves. Being "Bullied" my whole life, my self esteem is pretty low. I need to learn that I am who I am and no one can change that! Yes, I'm rambling but it's something I need to type out and I need to hear.
I AM BEAUTIFUL I AM WORTH IT I MATTER
I CAN DO WHAT I WANT I CAN LOOK GOOD IN WHAT I WANT
I AM PROUD OF WHO I AM I AM PROUD OF WHERE I HAVE COME
I AM MY OWN TRUE BEAUTY I AM MY OWN TRUE SELF
Yes, my face doesn't look pleased. It wasn't just the pictures, it was the kids yelling and getting in the way and some other things going on. Plus, if you know me, you know I don't smile. I need to learn to smile again. Anyways, Here are my pictures. I AM GOING TO BE BETTER FOR MYSELF! I WILL LOVE MYSELF!!! That is my main goal at the moment. Learn to love myself. Learn who I am again. Learn that I can do anything!
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